After the glitter is swept up from the Pride parades and the
Facebook profile pictures stop having rainbows over them, there is something a
lot more difficult to discuss. There are
many opinions on both sides of the “marriage equality” issue. People have been unfriending each other and
saying terrible things to each other. Regardless
of where you fall, you need to be talking about, thinking about this: What are you doing to make your marriage be of excellent
quality?
Now that gay marriage is recognized in the United States
there is a less popular, much more important conversation to address. Drop the “e” and this applies to everyone on
both sides of the fence: Marriage quality. My hope is that everyone who has posted their opinion
on marriage equality will also share their opinion on how to make a marriage
great.
When I see people celebrating same sex
marriage, I think of what marriage is to me: a faithful, monogamous relationship. This isn’t a promiscuous, disease spreading
lifestyle that is being fought for and argued over. This is the ability to love one person and to
be loved by one person in a mutually respectful relationship.
Marriage is not for the fickle. It’s tough.
It requires commitment, respect and perseverance. All relationships are
hard, but a faithful, long term, monogamous relationship seems scares in this
culture.
For those who believe and fight for the sanctity of marriage, heterosexuals need to demonstrate and model good loving marriages. We also need to model what it takes to be good
parents and loving neighbors. Teach your children to love others and treat
people with respect. Stop modeling hatred
and start modeling love. Are you putting
the maximum effort into your marriage?
If not, stop reading this and go kiss your husband or wife, really kiss
them and tell them how much you appreciate them. Stop getting worked up over
other people’s marriage and go get worked up over your own. Now is the right time and it's even more important now than ever to be a role model of a great marriage. Don’t worry, you can
stop reading here anyway.
For those of you who are heterosexual supporters of gay
rights, you need to be sure you celebrate YOUR marriage, too. You can recognize that this is not a simple
task to cultivate a high quality relationship with your partner. It’s not always fun to be a good husband or
wife. We need to support each other,
(gay and straight) in our marriage commitments.
*Short aside, I feel like my homosexual friends have put
more time, money and celebration into their right to love each other than my
heterosexual friends. It’s time to take
a cue from our homosexual friends and celebrate our marriages. It’s important and worth fighting for.
For the homosexuals, good luck with marriage. I welcome you to the “club”, and wish you the
best. Please celebrate the privilege to
be married, but understand there is a lot of responsibility and work required
from you. Marriage might not be as easy as you thought…. But then again, most
of you already know that because even without the Supreme Court ruling, you
were already engaging in faithful, monogamous relationships.
Happy pride: it’s time to get to work.
Here are the things I'm doing to make my marriage better quality
- Study: Reread the 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman and discuss with my husband.
- Celebration: Cherish and celebrate the time we spend together, whether it’s eating dinner on a week night at home or going somewhere special, I’m going to make an effort to be sure that my husband knows how happy I am to be married to him. I think it’s important enough to celebrate.
- Listen: I'm learning to be a better listener and to take action when my husband comments that he would like something done. I am also learning to point out the fact that it was done because I was listening to him.
What are you doing to make your marriage of great quality?
